101 Love Depravity
"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard."
-Romans 3:23, Holy Bible
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Getting out from the bathroom, while feeling somewhat a little better, the whole place has now been tainted by this potent negative intent that I can see to well like black fogs drifting in the air, and then... a voice, not with grace, but of eerieness and apparent animosity...
"Just a little bit... darling. The Death Sonata is soon to be unleashed... " She said, caressing the head, kissing it lips-to-lips... which is just, a vivid sight of a plain malady, and seeing it, is like receiving a blatant blow to both of my abdomen and stomach giving me the highest extent of qualms there is and probably the strongest that I have had ever experienced up to this day.
As I saw that strange visage, which is by far the most nauseating of all that I have had ever saw, I stopped moving, stunned by what I'm seeing... My music teacher, humming one of Mozart's best compositions, who ecstatically laid to plain sight this preserved head from a bag full of formaldehyde, caressing and kissing it, whilst calling it... darling.
And then at last... a threshold has been crossed for the first time yet again, in years, as the same stimuli are literally everywhere, whose numbers, I, myself can't mentally follow, and it's all according to my hindsight. It's a good thing to know though, that being inside this sphere of supposed-illusion, spelled major progress for me, and I think that this is something to be proud of, realizing that I'm not utterly wasting my lifespan in this scenarios...
Not to mention that there's a probability that this is not 'entirely illusory' as assessed by Azazel.
Seeing their lips make such brazen contact, my insignia, moved towards the fourth, signifying that I have lost a major emotion again... and I know what it is very well. As for the reason? It's also quite crystal-clear. I am with the anti-romantic development movement (If ever there is one) of such childish cause, let alone a graceful teacher, kissing this deceased piece like it's someone she shared with an intimate life, while probably amalgamated with this too much of a nostalgia going on the background.
The emotion that the fourth threshold showed? It's probably and likely to be disgust, which is one of the most superfluous and insignificant there is, and one that I can palpably live without. A life without nausea... I can't wait.
The pianist continued caressing the head, not notified of my sneaky presence... treating it like it's someone of great importance to her.
"It's now beyond reach... darling. The dream that we both want. The aspiration that we both share. It's only a few days away...Aren't you excited? Ahahahaha... Yes, and I love you too." she said, in a vis-a-vis conversation with the head, whose deep, death-instilled eyes are still open for some reason. And then...
"Hmmm?? What's that darling? Someone's eavesdropping on us?" As though, still normally conversing, she exclaimed addressing the statement unto me, which has been watching her for a while now... while here I also am assuming falsely that I have had maintained stealthiness, not feeling anything... Not even fear which should have been the most potent, and neither nausea. Good timing there.
"Hmm?? He's just standing there? That's rather rude! Eavesdropping on our private time together to enhance our love's intimacy. Well then, see you later, darling." she added kissing it for the last time and placing it again in her bag like it's a mere hygiene tool and that as if it's a norm carrying something like that around.
"Jaiden... I know you're there" She said, slowly turning towards me.
"Surely, this household must have had thought you of the proper decorum to privacy."
"Hmmm, Way to put it when you yourself bought that thing in here... How did that get past the guards anyway? And calling a deceased head 'darling'? Seriously... how lonely your life must be."
"A brat raised in such a lavish lifestyle? Talking like a young adult?"
"What's this? Am I that rare to you?"
"Hehehehe... Actually, yes... But I should not be surprised though... Hear that darling? This kid talks like he's manlier than you are. Aww how cute.." She said, embracing the bag like it's someone endearing.
"And why should you not be surprised?"
"Well, of course! You're a descendant of this aristocratic bloodline. The son of its leader, and soon-to-be ultimate scion of this household's founders after your brother, if he will even succeed, that is... Teheee... And by the way..."
"Hm?" I replied, obviously sensing that beneath that statement lies a subliminal meaning that I will inevitably know later, with or without my permission.
"Did you just 'censored' call my lover, disgusting? And what do you mean 'deceased head'? You're being too rude to your music teacher, Jaiden... Come to think of it, you've been acting strange lately..."
Is it just me? Or this is like talking to someone in a schizophrenic episode? Oh well... She's just a privately-hired preceptor, and whoever in this family authenticated her eligibility for this job, is probably as demented as her.
"I have been always like this, Miss Selene. And, why are you denying that what you've done in front, is an act of disgusting savagery? It was disgusting. You've even kissed it knowing that you've drowned it with a dangerous chemical."
"Aw, you saw that? How bold of you to take a glimpse of such a pure act of love's intimacy."
"Was it actually Love's intimacy? Or perhaps... Love Depravity? In my perspective, you're looking like a funeral home theft who stole a detached head of a fresh-murdered man and then started considering it as your 'true intimate love'. What a sight indeed, not befitting of a teacher of your caliber. Encore..." I responded, adding consecutive 'mini-claps' right on the end.
Well, if you were kissing someone other than that, I have been glad of seeing it, but unfortunately, that's not the case... Now, will you leave us alone? We don't know if that thing right there might be carrying some dangerous illnesses. " I added, pointing to that head as 'that thing' as if its trash to be discarded on the Biological Hazard section...
"Sorry, if you did not like seeing that... You're a kid after all, and treating you like this is just plain absurd. Hehehehehe... But, what would a kid like you know about love? What do you know about us?... What do you know why my love's in this state? Ahhh, society is just plain judgemental nowadays. " She said, looking all deranged, almost like being slightly affected by my effortless insults.
"I told you already... Leave. We can't afford to have such a personality in here... And your piano teaching? We probably don't need it. We can learn on our own. " I exclaimed...
"What a vulgar young man. And what a sudden change of personality. Yesterday, you're the most juvenile brat there is who knows nothing but to compete with his beloved, and looked-upon brother. And now, here you are with chins up against an adult... Something is not right in here, but figured, it's too futile to know what it is either..."
Truth be told, this music preceptor that has been the pedestal of our skills in instrumental playing appeared to us every day with the most mundane facade there is, for practically as far as I can remember. And now, if indeed this so-called 'Illusory Valhalla is not entirely hoaxed as its name suggests, then I'm standing at a very potent ground of revelations, and this person standing in front of me, might hold an integral cameo on why that night came to pass, unprecedented.
And while I really have no interest in knowing the past, I now stand emerged of what's going to happen next, like a mangaka anticipating his next major release...