"Sometimes, you can't see yourself clearly, until you see yourself through the eyes of others."
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Fear, carnage, confusion, and death began to mingle in the atmosphere while the casualties are at its bare minimum. Yet, it goes on without overtly saying that several lives were lost in one wake alone of that man and his grotesque summon. And then, like a toy in an ugly giant's hand, the whole city is carried away towards the rift where its head first appeared.
As my vision shifted to that from day to a deep noir because of the transition of us being carried into the callous-looking place, I unprecedentedly sensed power surging in my veins. Well, maybe this is from the quirk of Lacrimosa. Drawing sadness and despair to become her own power and this place, as of today is in no exception. It became a source from which she could draw her power from. I then looked at the goddess, curious as to how she is dealing with the sudden surge of power.
"Probably with the same villainous facade," I thought... but the moment my eyes met her direction, I am proven wrong almost suddenly.
I saw her brimming in anger while the viscount-like perpetrator slowly descends to the ground then suddenly disappearing without a trace, almost like vapor.
No one was able to stop him. Not one was able to hinder him in his will. Everyone and everything just trembled in his countenance as if it was a natural reaction. Just who was that?
Celes and Deus hastily jumped from the rooftop to help those people caught up in the attack, while Lacrimosa is there, with this rather sad demeanor while visible power came emanating from her body.
So I was correct in our first meeting...That this lady, claiming herself to be the Goddess of Disambiguation, could also feel sad at times.
"Tsk. Curse this game! It forces us to choose what fate we want humanity to have. We settle it by an endless gamble knowing that no matter what fate they will have, it will always be the darkness that they will soon face. it's just plain juvenile!" She exclaimed provocatively even forgetting that I'm still on the scene.
I can somehow relate to her. I was also imagining it earlier, multitasking my neurons thinking about possible answers for the questions while also weighing integral decisions... What if I will choose to save humanity? That will be like nothing more but staving the apocalypse that awaits. What if I favor damnation? I somehow feel that hope is not yet completely quenched. To neglect such a plausible chance of change would be unfortunate for the future generation. I somehow want to continue watching them in their foolishness and ingenuity. In their breakthroughs and their retrogression. It's fun.
And yet, I know for myself, that no matter what I choose, a part of me neglects the philosophy by presenting another valid argument. It's a contraction between the mind and of the heart. And I don't even know which of which belongs to the one, or the other. In other words, it is a complete paradox judging from my perspectives. And I also can quite think, that this perspective might also be of the same with Lacrimosa's. She can gain power with sadness. She needs the power to continue. But she also doesn't see herself getting accustomed to such.
At any means. Lacrimosa choosing to be nothing more but a spectator in this game, not choosing where she would take side, is the best and the most authentic choice, at least for now...
The city is at a complete outroar. Cries can be heard everywhere. Loud alarms were sounding at every corner. You could see ambulances passing to and fro without end. You could also see several people helping each other rise up from the ground. While here we both are... in a rooftop of a University surging in immense power while sadness continued to envelop the island...
The moment, the whole island got sucked into the vast rift on the sky, complete darkness envelops us whole. Without the sun for the operation of solar-powered technologies, nothing but auxiliary power sources supports the street lights. It is complete chaos. Underneath my toes, I could still feel the trembling of the ground which suggests that the giant gargoyle is still carrying us to a place we know nothing initially of.
While Lacrimosa os still brimming with her anger and while she is deep in her thoughts, I decided to come down to the city to see if I could help someone still in trouble. I just figured I could lend Celes a little helping hand...It's not an act of heroism. It's just that, seeing Lacrimosa like that makes my conscience bleed a little and seeing her further could have nullified my wish that I might never feel that crappy emotion again. It could have been in vain.
I hastily let out of my pen, to control its ink like some hovering object. Then at one of the residential areas, three blocks from the university's main building I sense someone inside of this house that is about to collapse at any moment. Anyway, someone could be injured inside. It would be bad if I were to take leisure.
I opened its gates and forced my way through the main door. Then as I explore its empty and dark hallways and its lightless sala, I heard someone crying. A little girl...
I then hurriedly followed the voice and again forced my way open on that one room where that cry seemed coming from and the moment I got accessed to the place, a little girl is there, crying while holding unto her teddy bear. And in front of her, a lady and a man which both symbolized the child, both lying dead. The little girl gave me no attention. She was fixed on hugging her toy while sobbing and saying...
"Mama. Papa. Let's go outside. It's dark here I'm scared."
"Mama. Papa. I- I am scared. Please wake up."
I don't know why, but the moment I saw her. I was reminded of myself. It was the same. It was at this moment that you'd wish they were only sleeping. That you'd wish you had died with them. But, the reality is cruel. One way or another it will give you a massive blow that will make you think, you can't stand up anymore. Somehow being in this perspective, I can see myself in Lacrimosa's point of view, when she saved me that night.
Slowly and calmly, with a delicate yet pure smile, I started approaching the little girl. I then took hold of her gently, holding her in my arms like she was my own.
"Wh-who are you? A- are you, friends, with the monster?", the little girl asked in fear, doubting if I was a stranger with evil intents.
Monster? Oh, she might have had seen that ugly-looking giant gargoyle.
"No. That monster is a bad guy. I dislike bad guys." I said while kightly patting her on the head to somehow calm her down.
"That monster killed my family mister."
"Yeah. I know." I replied while the little girl seemed to start calming down feeling a bit reassured of my presence.
"Why do you know? Your mama and papa, killed by the monster too?"
"My mama and papa huh. True. They were killed too in front of me. Although it's a different type of monster, Something scarier. " Having said that, a picture of my brother suddenly instilled within my mind. Pictures of him being a big brother and memories of him being a mad animal.
"There are lots of monster mister?"
"Yes. Lots of them..."
"Oh. No need for that now. Oni-chan is here"
"Yes. Are you hungry? Let's eat outside."
"Wait. Oni-chan, mama, and papa they-" The girl once again looked at her parents.
Yeah. This is the part where she wishes that I am there to help, assuming that I'm a fairy or something from her bed-time stories... but that's not the case, and I can't keep giving her that false hope...
"Oh. There's no need to worry about them. They are now safe." I replied as though with the most cliche response there is. I can't' help it. I can't think of anything else to comfort her grief. I would humbly apologize to this girl's parents in the next life.
"Uh. I understand oni-chan!" the little girl replied with a sad, yet brave demeanor. Something that a child should not be able to make.
"Such a brave girl. Good. Good. What do you want to eat? I have lots of money you know?" I said, which is, fortunately, a lie.
"Fried chicken and french fries!"
"Ok, let's go..."
Having said that, I carried the girl outside the house without looking back. It was as if, all the black she had in her heart was wiped away by an unknown force. I don't want this girl to be the same as me. I can't have the memory be injected in her mind forever. It must be erased at all costs. She deserves to be happy. She deserves to live a life of colors. Not like mine, colorless as the moon from that night, emotionless, and a life diagnosed to have "Dementia" by de facto doctors.
I continued to walk trending my feet, upon these wide roads, towards a near food chain, while carrying her on my back as she is still frail from all of that crying. The girl as though comforted fell to a deep slumber while being held into my arms, but still with sobbing. Come to think of it. I forgot to ask her her name. Well, maybe later. For now, I should get what I promised to her. Fried chicken and french fries. Such a minimalist. Let's add something to that, shall we?